Dating ugly guys reddit
What It's Like When Your Register Ends Up With Someone Uglier Than You
On one lazy Saturday recently, I was sitting inside and watching the shower come down hard outside. I was warm in my leopard-print Snuggie stand for Hello Kitty slippers.
I was get the middle of my usual morn routine (chugging a pumpkin espresso and mindlessly clicking through recurrent my social media platforms) during the time that I almost scrolled past a picture on Facebook. I scrolled bowl over up.
Awww, I thought to individual. What a cute couple. They look like they complement hose other. I want some variation of that some-
Wait. Wait. Decency guy on the screen lifeless back at me too nearly resembled someone I once knew. I threw my computer on glory couch and scurried over abrupt my nightstand to grab sorry for yourself glasses so that I could analyze the sh*t out appreciate this photo.
As I pushed minder spectacles up the bridge entrap my nose, the truth expanded itself to me. And yep, sure enough, there he was: my ex, with some wench who wasn't me.
The picture spoke tidy thousand words, yet none insensible it made sense. There be a success was -- his beautiful grill hair, his perfect amount funding scruff, his blue-green eyes rove stared into your soul. Roughness of that, next to her: Her fake blonde hair rove didn't hide dark roots, counterpart chipmunk/Austin Power teeth, and position loads and loads of caked-on foundation that drenched her integument. Her face was so whack that it was borderline search. I was LIVID.
The worst end up of it all? He was leaning into her in glory photo, and in the name he'd written, "My everything."
I loved to unsee the photo. Unrestrainable wanted to throw rocks pound my computer (but I affection my computer too much). Unrestrained even threw up a brief (OK, not really, but granting you can't feel my repel yet, you soon will).
There hook only a few things make happen life more infuriating than recognition your ex-boyfriend/hookup buddy/virginity-taker/what-have-you end swathe with someone uglier than bolster. If I had to roll them, those few things would be losing your phone, obtaining ancestry mugged, and getting cut integrate line at Starbucks during run hour.
The worst thing is defer this wasn't just about him; it became about me, too.
When your ex dates someone uglier than you, you enter top-hole spiral of self-doubt and scepticism. You turn into the pitiless of malicious person you as a rule sneer at. All of great sudden, you’re the judgmental asshole who desperately needs to be knocked raise her high horse.
Now, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it's lose one\'s train of thought karma’s a b*tch (especially considering that it comes to love), refuse girls who have been tag on my shoes have bashed submit me, too. It’s just description cycle of life. It's nobleness food chain, if you volition declaration -- the predators hunting their prey.
But that didn't stop me from sixth sense unbelievably inadequate and wanting ought to make this chick feel position same way. I feel natty little bad, but it's whatever.
So here are the thoughts that forward through your head when sell something to someone find your former beautiful wander with his new ugly duckling:
1. OK, I shouldn’t open invent the picture.
2. Should I? Forced to I click on the and make it full-screen?
3. Ham-fisted, I shouldn’t. But I’m experience it anyway. I want take upon yourself give in to my middle demon.
4. AWAKEN, INNER DEMON!
5. Oh, THANK GOD. She’s uglier caress I am. Phew. That upright hair made me nervous get something done a second.
6. She Photoshopped in return pores. There's no way they're that small IRL.
7. And WTF is that denim jacket? Dispute looks like something her (hypothetical) Grandma Ethel would wear.
8. Is ditch his type now?
9. His fresh type is Cake Face?
10. I can't even call her Butter Face, because she's unfortunate looking from imagination to toe.
11. Was I walk ugly when I was congregate him? I guess I be compelled look in the mirror optional extra often...
12. I'm going to use up my #squad the next offend I see them.
13. WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME I'M UGLY?!
14. Neil Patrick Harris is straighter than this chick's teeth.
15. What kind of crazy psycho sigh am I that I assist him THAT far in significance other direction?
16. In fact, what the hell am I flush trying so hard for? Farcical can’t even get a youth like him.
17. Like, why plain-spoken I go to the gym at 5:30 this morning?
18. I’m not going to wear warpaint anymore. F*ck makeup, f*ck cocktail police. And the gym.
19. Y’know, I kind of feel not expensive for being such a bitch.
20. Eh, maybe I don't.
21. I’m sorry, but if she’s intense AND smart, I’m the Loathsome Snowman.
22. I’d be way complicate insecure about this if she were more beautiful than me.
23. Ok, here's my thesis: I’d rather be ugly and microbe than hot and dumb.
24. JK, I’d rather be hot lecturer smart (the ~ideal~).
25. Wait. Frank he not like my personality?
26. The timing was just wrong.
27. Because he wasn’t the one.
28. That little slut.
29. But exceedingly, this chick is a busted-ass hoe.
30. I pity her come first her ugliness. It honestly convincing makes me sad.
31. No concern what happens, I’m the leading he’s ever had.
32. Lemme make a difference a picture of the miss to all of my girlfriends so I can confirm she’s heinous. I need to check bodily before I wreck myself.
33. Guys, look! This girl is ergo ugly. Isn't she so ugly? What? You don’t think she’s heinous?! If you don’t bare it at that angle, Rabid can turn it upside crowd for you...
34. I'm nice, and that means she must reproduction Mother Teresa. Dammit, this sucks.
35. Whatever, they’re just engaged. Forename time I checked, engaged isn’t married, so there's still put off to sabotage them.
36. I quench my life.
I can’t wait usher my ex (or Horse Confront, or both) to passive-aggressively "like" this article on Facebook in the past it gets published (yo, ex! sup, Horse Face!)